I haven't posted in a while. Still trying to get in the routine at work. I'm posting to document my most recent experience, as in, I'm still ailing...a bit.
This one rattles the bones folks...quite literally. I have no idea what manner of ailment this was, but all it came with was a fever. The hotline said come to the ER if it goes above 102, which it did not. It bumped right against it the first time I took it, but after flushing much water through my system, it started normalizing pretty fast. With the fever, though, came chills, sweats, and aches from every scar or pain I've ever had...especially the recent ones.
Whew...
But, it is apparently over, though I am still flushing my system with water. I'd been sleeping on the downstairs couch, and will probably sleep on the couch again...and a couple of those new scars are very very tender, but I'll save you the details.
I expect to be good as new; well, old, things are moving the way I want them to, and I do need to learn some patience...Wish me luck with that.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
trying to get my mojo
Several days since my last post, and I'm still trying to get my energy to a sustainable level. There are many many positive things happening, and I'm mindful of those.
Here are a few images of the last week. The painting is a progress photo of a piece I started last year. It's kind of interesting to note that painting is hard work for me right now...I'm overthinking it. Have you ever not been able to get out of your own way? That's me painting right now...easy solution; paint more. easier said than done.
The sculpture is progress of a sculpture I've been fooling around with for some time. I recently decided this needs to be one of a series of religious icons, reinterpreted, of course...
The last one is a look behind the veil. This is my work table. In person, it looks a little like Frankenstein's Lab, as I may have said before. Parts of bodies, heads, scraps of wax. Wax is a very sustainable material to sculpt in. I save all the scraps and reuse them in another sculpture. I've actually still got two others sitting, almost ready to invest; their status, unfortunately, goes toward that energy issue I've noted.
On that note, I've come back to almost the beginning; easy solution; exercise more. Easier said than done...
For all of these things, I just need to stay on task. Keep one foot moving in front of the other, as a good friend just reminded me. Before too long, I'll be walking. Maybe, just maybe, someday, I'll be running...
Monday, February 21, 2011
T + 60 days
I'm going to look at this as an anniversary.
It's definitely a change of phase, to use an engineering term. I've gone from having pain I'd never experienced before to, now, a simple feeling of fatigue, though a strong one.
I'll take it
I say that just to frame my thoughts, because 8 weeks from surgery, I am working out, have moe progress in some areas than expected, on target in the others, and still cooking like I mean it. I started going more organic, partially based on some of the foods my brother bought for me while he was here. I even thought briefly about raw foods. I just decided I would need more kitchen to get that serious. But I did think it...
I've been a little too fatigued to really make art, but I always seem to have projects; I suddenly realized it's time to build the outdoor studio, if I expect to use it this summer. So, at least I've got goals...
Right now it feels like I get about 8 great hours a day; as I said before; I think that's awesome. I have no idea where most people are at this phase, but I am aware that there is a lot of discussion about Cancer Related Fatigue...
Back to art. I have managed to get two sculptures to a pretty advanced state. I need to get one of them ready to go to the foundry (Soliloquy II), and another unfinished bizness type piece needs to have molds taken before I move to the next phase. For some reason, tired for me means I can't seem to drag my ass over to the camera to load the images, so I'll hitcha back...
I've also been working on a painting; got it to that '2 hours left' stage I feel I'm becoming famous for, in my own mind. I may have posted on it. It's in the Ohio State footballers series. Most of these only have tenuous names, and this belongs to that category. Right now, it's Tone.
Back to healing. In summary, healing seems like it takes your full attention sometimes. I've managed to pull that off, with the gracious assistance of The Many. So, I am grateful. We are grateful. And, it ain't even CLOSE to being over.
It's definitely a change of phase, to use an engineering term. I've gone from having pain I'd never experienced before to, now, a simple feeling of fatigue, though a strong one.
I'll take it
I say that just to frame my thoughts, because 8 weeks from surgery, I am working out, have moe progress in some areas than expected, on target in the others, and still cooking like I mean it. I started going more organic, partially based on some of the foods my brother bought for me while he was here. I even thought briefly about raw foods. I just decided I would need more kitchen to get that serious. But I did think it...
I've been a little too fatigued to really make art, but I always seem to have projects; I suddenly realized it's time to build the outdoor studio, if I expect to use it this summer. So, at least I've got goals...
Right now it feels like I get about 8 great hours a day; as I said before; I think that's awesome. I have no idea where most people are at this phase, but I am aware that there is a lot of discussion about Cancer Related Fatigue...
Back to art. I have managed to get two sculptures to a pretty advanced state. I need to get one of them ready to go to the foundry (Soliloquy II), and another unfinished bizness type piece needs to have molds taken before I move to the next phase. For some reason, tired for me means I can't seem to drag my ass over to the camera to load the images, so I'll hitcha back...
I've also been working on a painting; got it to that '2 hours left' stage I feel I'm becoming famous for, in my own mind. I may have posted on it. It's in the Ohio State footballers series. Most of these only have tenuous names, and this belongs to that category. Right now, it's Tone.
Back to healing. In summary, healing seems like it takes your full attention sometimes. I've managed to pull that off, with the gracious assistance of The Many. So, I am grateful. We are grateful. And, it ain't even CLOSE to being over.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Rabbi who believes in Zeus
Loves it!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-alan-lurie/why-all-intuitions-of-god_b_817435.html
In other words, above the constructs that humans make to describe the spiritual realm is a higher, truer realm that is beyond our ability to adequately describe or fully comprehend. Zeus, Plato knew, is a symbolic manifestation of the essence of creative power, and those who followed Zeus sought to deepen these qualities, just as followers of Athena sought to partake of the essences of wisdom and judgment. These essences, Plato taught, emanate from the same Source, and are implanted in physicality. People who intuit these essences give them form, which may be human in characteristics, but these forms are not the essences. The pantheon of gods were human attempts to describe the spiritual experience in an anthropomorphic story.
Check it
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-alan-lurie/why-all-intuitions-of-god_b_817435.html
In other words, above the constructs that humans make to describe the spiritual realm is a higher, truer realm that is beyond our ability to adequately describe or fully comprehend. Zeus, Plato knew, is a symbolic manifestation of the essence of creative power, and those who followed Zeus sought to deepen these qualities, just as followers of Athena sought to partake of the essences of wisdom and judgment. These essences, Plato taught, emanate from the same Source, and are implanted in physicality. People who intuit these essences give them form, which may be human in characteristics, but these forms are not the essences. The pantheon of gods were human attempts to describe the spiritual experience in an anthropomorphic story.
Check it
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Motorcycle rider and me; progress...
Two updates in one, today only! For the price of one single update, you get...TWO!
As the days go on, I am feeling stronger and stronger. I posted about a week ago that I'd been walking about 1-1/2 miles a day. I missed Sunday, because I was just sore and aching, but started again Monday, and have done it every day this week. Yesterday, I added about 5 minutes of yoga. Not feeling sore today, so far...Still not much endurance, as I pooped out shortly after all that...rallied for a minute, and pooped out again...but, big things going on.
I've got the ballerina, Soliloquy II, in stasis for a minute, while I roughed out a do-over on a piece I started a few years ago. I've posted the motorcycle part of this piece many times, and it's been in a couple of art shows, but it's never been finished. There was a rider. I sculpted him, put him in a mold real quick, because I was scrambling to a deadline, and the mold got broken or lost on the floor of the foundry. File that under Murphy...as in Law. I should have done a production mold; something I'm trying to rectify real quick, before I get back the ballerina.
Check the vid.
As the days go on, I am feeling stronger and stronger. I posted about a week ago that I'd been walking about 1-1/2 miles a day. I missed Sunday, because I was just sore and aching, but started again Monday, and have done it every day this week. Yesterday, I added about 5 minutes of yoga. Not feeling sore today, so far...Still not much endurance, as I pooped out shortly after all that...rallied for a minute, and pooped out again...but, big things going on.
I've got the ballerina, Soliloquy II, in stasis for a minute, while I roughed out a do-over on a piece I started a few years ago. I've posted the motorcycle part of this piece many times, and it's been in a couple of art shows, but it's never been finished. There was a rider. I sculpted him, put him in a mold real quick, because I was scrambling to a deadline, and the mold got broken or lost on the floor of the foundry. File that under Murphy...as in Law. I should have done a production mold; something I'm trying to rectify real quick, before I get back the ballerina.
Check the vid.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Update...plus
Wow...
It's been over a week since my last post, I think...
As I've been feeling better, I get right back into twirling the plates...plus time out for naps, and other important functions (the details of which I've spared you so far, so I won't start sharing now...). Needless to say, my time is not efficiently utilized, but I'm doing STUFF...
More importantly, Pathology came back, and they found NO cancer in the lymph nodes. That's the good news. The 'other' news is that I also found out that the cancer in the prostate was a little worse than the biopsy results indicated, and had grown outside the capsule of the prostate. Dr. A said he got around it, and they got it out, 'barely'.
Hey, whatevs...I'll take it! Cancer FREE, y'all!
Been sculpting like a fool. I've actually got three sculptures in progress right now, and I've been taking production molds off the ballerina, Soliloquy II, before I get her ready to invest for the final bronze cast.
I've been talking to my art teacher, Ric Stewart, a lot. He's had a big year as an artist, and I'm really, really excited about what's happening in the Cbus bronze casting scene. Ric's Gods of Bronze WILL be heard. I hope to catch those coat tails...
Back to update. So, I've been walking, and being mindful. Resting, and being mindful. Playing games on Facebook, and being vegetative...sorry y'all that are my friends...Started in their rehabilitation programs; I'll also spare you THOSE details...I've been focusing on eating local, and fresh, and organic if possible. I'd been taking a probiotic since shortly after the operation, as well as drinking a ton of water, very little coffee, lots of fresh vegetables, lean chicken or fish, trying to work dairy, grains, beef, beans and stuff like that back in. Ive been eating 6-8 meals a day, small ones, because I don't really have much appetite.
Pain, achiness, and general ability to move around changed a LOT in the last week. Last Saturday, we tried to walk down to Marcella's, and I couldn't make it. That would have been just over 3/4 mile, I believe, to the spot. We walked to Nida's, about three blocks, and I couldn't tolerate sitting in a restaurant chair. Had a pronounced limp at that point, and if I didn't take my Tylenol every 6 hours, I'd have significant pain.
At of this post, I'm movign around without much of a limp. I've walked over 3/4 of a mile every day for the last 5 days, plus started stretching (very little bits), and working with a medicine ball (shout out to Wiggins Method!). I'm also not limping, unless I'm close to overdoing it. I'm definitely noticing there's a 'wall' there...but it's now a wall I've had some experience with, and the pains I feel are not those hard,alien, piercing pains, but muscle aches, fatigue, tiredness, and the achiness of junk still feeling trauma...this is more like what I felt when we played our arch rival in some team sport, and I 'left it all on the field...
Back soon
It's been over a week since my last post, I think...
As I've been feeling better, I get right back into twirling the plates...plus time out for naps, and other important functions (the details of which I've spared you so far, so I won't start sharing now...). Needless to say, my time is not efficiently utilized, but I'm doing STUFF...
More importantly, Pathology came back, and they found NO cancer in the lymph nodes. That's the good news. The 'other' news is that I also found out that the cancer in the prostate was a little worse than the biopsy results indicated, and had grown outside the capsule of the prostate. Dr. A said he got around it, and they got it out, 'barely'.
Hey, whatevs...I'll take it! Cancer FREE, y'all!
Been sculpting like a fool. I've actually got three sculptures in progress right now, and I've been taking production molds off the ballerina, Soliloquy II, before I get her ready to invest for the final bronze cast.
I've been talking to my art teacher, Ric Stewart, a lot. He's had a big year as an artist, and I'm really, really excited about what's happening in the Cbus bronze casting scene. Ric's Gods of Bronze WILL be heard. I hope to catch those coat tails...
Back to update. So, I've been walking, and being mindful. Resting, and being mindful. Playing games on Facebook, and being vegetative...sorry y'all that are my friends...Started in their rehabilitation programs; I'll also spare you THOSE details...I've been focusing on eating local, and fresh, and organic if possible. I'd been taking a probiotic since shortly after the operation, as well as drinking a ton of water, very little coffee, lots of fresh vegetables, lean chicken or fish, trying to work dairy, grains, beef, beans and stuff like that back in. Ive been eating 6-8 meals a day, small ones, because I don't really have much appetite.
Pain, achiness, and general ability to move around changed a LOT in the last week. Last Saturday, we tried to walk down to Marcella's, and I couldn't make it. That would have been just over 3/4 mile, I believe, to the spot. We walked to Nida's, about three blocks, and I couldn't tolerate sitting in a restaurant chair. Had a pronounced limp at that point, and if I didn't take my Tylenol every 6 hours, I'd have significant pain.
At of this post, I'm movign around without much of a limp. I've walked over 3/4 of a mile every day for the last 5 days, plus started stretching (very little bits), and working with a medicine ball (shout out to Wiggins Method!). I'm also not limping, unless I'm close to overdoing it. I'm definitely noticing there's a 'wall' there...but it's now a wall I've had some experience with, and the pains I feel are not those hard,alien, piercing pains, but muscle aches, fatigue, tiredness, and the achiness of junk still feeling trauma...this is more like what I felt when we played our arch rival in some team sport, and I 'left it all on the field...
Back soon
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Peaks and valleys
Two to three days of napping, eating, and basic bodily functions I'd spare you...
I had several days where I was walking 3/4 miles - 1 1/2 miles, cleaning the house, planning stuff, and generally starting to feel like my typical AD self... Maybe that caught up to me, but I'm semi refreshed now, which is good, because it's time to get prescriptions filled, and do some walking through the grocery store. The first day I didn't walk was because of the snow and ice, I think it was Monday. I was pretty sore, and achiness has started. I'm going to take both as positive indications because, hey, I've still got muscle tissue... Seriously though, I believe this is just the next phase of healing and I'll be back in the gym before I know it. The Mantra... Plus, the big sack of fluid that used to be my stomach is starting to resemble my stomach again, though it looks like there's still a few cantaloupes to go...
Folks that haven't seen me in a while may be shocked, I haven't cut my hair since mid December...it's almost to my ears...
The muse is definitely still talking to me; that's a great sign. She's usually not this patient...so, expect more posts of artwork in progress in the very near future.
I had several days where I was walking 3/4 miles - 1 1/2 miles, cleaning the house, planning stuff, and generally starting to feel like my typical AD self... Maybe that caught up to me, but I'm semi refreshed now, which is good, because it's time to get prescriptions filled, and do some walking through the grocery store. The first day I didn't walk was because of the snow and ice, I think it was Monday. I was pretty sore, and achiness has started. I'm going to take both as positive indications because, hey, I've still got muscle tissue... Seriously though, I believe this is just the next phase of healing and I'll be back in the gym before I know it. The Mantra... Plus, the big sack of fluid that used to be my stomach is starting to resemble my stomach again, though it looks like there's still a few cantaloupes to go...
Folks that haven't seen me in a while may be shocked, I haven't cut my hair since mid December...it's almost to my ears...
The muse is definitely still talking to me; that's a great sign. She's usually not this patient...so, expect more posts of artwork in progress in the very near future.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
One week into 2011
I've been busy; sleeping and eating seem to take most of the day, LOL...I get more energy every day, and have been sculpting. I started the second homegirl, Soliloquy II. I'll be posting video as soon as I can. The recent snow has me housebound, and a little stir crazy, so I'm going to the grocery store to do some laps, and get a little food; I am only allowed to lift four pounds for the next month, so these things turn into serious meditations...breathe, focus, move...repeat.
I've actually cleaned the house! Thanks to Swiffer, and my army of helpers (you know who you are...) that takes almost no lifting. Certainly nothing more than 4 lbs.
My peeps stop by, or call, or both, and that is a blessing...thanks for that!
Also been thinking about something Doctor Dad always says; "Drink your water, boy! Or you gonna DIE!"
I've actually cleaned the house! Thanks to Swiffer, and my army of helpers (you know who you are...) that takes almost no lifting. Certainly nothing more than 4 lbs.
My peeps stop by, or call, or both, and that is a blessing...thanks for that!
Also been thinking about something Doctor Dad always says; "Drink your water, boy! Or you gonna DIE!"
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year's 2011
As I start 2011, it is with Hope, and at least some level of the confidence I've always had. Confidence that this fight with Cancer is over and done...
It's with determination, that this experience will inform the plans I've been making going forward, as a person, as an engineer, and as an artist. I've kept my art on the back burner while I've tried to make my way in this world...Time for change has come. I feel, more strongly than ever, that now is the time to see if my gifts as an artist relate to people enough for them to keep me in the manner I've become accustomed to...Time to be an Artist.
I'm feeling better every day. As far as I'm concerned, I AM cancer free (the appointment where they tell me those results is in mid January). I have been walking. I have been eating lean protein (though, not often enough I've been counseled, so I'm kicking that up to six meals a day). I have been mindful. I have been breathing...oh hell yeah I've been breathing...
I've been making art. I've been making ART! I had a sculpture stolen from a local venue, the Bar of Modern Art. These folks have chosen to be non responsive to my attempts to get them to make it right. I'm going to make it right. I'm going to remake that sculpture. Hopefully, whoever stole it did so because they loved it the way I did. If that's the case, I hope I make it so they cannot show it in their own home, because it's everywhere else...I am everywhere else, showing another, similar enough to be a twin, and telling my story...I hope to raise my profile high enough that this sculpture, and my story, is all over the news. Living well, y'all...
2011, the Year of the Artist, and I don't mean Prince...
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